It Had Always Been About Men, Then SHE Happened

I'm a 23-year-old girl and since my childhood, I've been interested in men. There was simply no question about it. I can still remember my very first crush, my first boyfriend, my second---and so on. However, I connected with the LGBTQ community by attending some queer events and making a lot of friends from the community. I began seeing women differently. I started noticing different things about women. My mind still focused on men because I thought I was heterosexual.

One random day I got a friend request on Facebook from a girl. She'd added me 'by mistake' but now I feel it was the best mistake ever. Though social media is how we started to speak, I asked for her number. I still remember how she said "Omg you finally asked for my number" after a couple of weeks of Facebook chatting. Dramatic as she was, I loved that about her. I would get excited when she texted me, when she flirted with me, when she used certain words around me. She was everywhere I looked. Thoughts of her filled every quiet moment. I constantly replayed previous conversations we'd had, and envisioned future ones. Soon, we met for the first time and felt a strong connection. This was all a first time for me and funnily it used to be always about men, so many men... until suddenly, it wasn't. Suddenly, there was something else added to the mix: HER. I fell for her fast and hard, without any indication that she would fall for me in return. Even now, I still don't know what happened and how. Perhaps I'll never know or I might know in time.

But I do know this: I am a woman who was, and still is, sexually attracted to men. I also know that I have this huge crush on another woman. Now, thanks to her, I've learnt that I don't have to justify it to anyone. As she rightly says, "I just believe in loving a person". Sexuality is fluid and so, if you ask me now, I may not identify as a heterosexual or as a bisexual, but just as a Queer girl who doesn't wish to fit into any box or labels. I had never ever thought about being with a woman. In fact, just the idea of it was really unappealing to me. But now that I know this woman, I don't think it's unappealing at all. I'd like to be with her, and I like the thought of going out with her and everything... In short, I really like her. Her presence has taught me that there is no such thing as 100%, and that my feelings are not defined by the people I liked or loved before I liked her. I had lived my life believing that I would only ever love men. Now, I believe, that in my mind it could be all men, always men....and HER.

There will always be place for her.

Skully

Foodie. Doesn't get impressed by technology unless it can download FOOD. Not single, not taken, but always hungry. Loves to talk if not already occupied with food in her mouth. Along with talking, likes to listen to people. Music addict and is not seeking any rehabilitation. They tried to make me go to rehab and I said no no no. Thanks for asking.